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Don't Let Your Love for the Struggle Keep You Stuck

When we face a challenge in our lives, it's natural to want to overcome it. But what happens when we become so attached to the struggle that we don't want to let it go, even after we've overcome it? This is a common phenomenon that can keep us stuck in old patterns and prevent us from moving forward.

Many of us have experienced this at some point in our lives. We may have had a difficult childhood, a challenging job, or a toxic relationship that we worked hard to overcome. But even after we've moved on, we may find ourselves still identifying with the struggle and even glorifying it.

I recently had a conversation with a person who discussed an interesting topic. It was the topic of being stuck.

Now I know this does not sound so interesting (or odd) that I would be speaking to someone about being stuck in their lives. But what made this conversation specifically interesting is that we uncovered that this person was stuck needing a nemesis. A person that would doubt them or dismiss their ideas.

This very quickly caught my attention.

The interesting this about this was that this person had only supportive people around them. People who would acknowledge and even support their wanting to live a better, more passionate life.

This person had lived with people naysaying and doubting them for so long that they basically got used to having to "prove themselves".

So let's back up a second and pay close attention here. This person was stuck BECAUSE they had quality relationships and people around them who were ready and willing to support them in living their ideal lives.

They were stuck in their past toxicity. Stuck in old patterns of having to overcome doubt and criticism from those people closest to them; a very common issue in many relationships.

The issue here was that there was no longer a need for such a thing. They had already worked on reassessing and redefining their relationships and their environment. They had left their old toxic relationships some time ago.

So why the continued need for a doubter? a hater? a nemesis?

This can manifest in a number of ways. We may feel like we need to constantly prove ourselves, or we may keep ourselves in a state of perpetual busyness and stress. We may even seek out new struggles to replace the old ones, because we've become so accustomed to the adrenaline rush that comes with overcoming obstacles.

But here's the thing: when we become too attached to the struggle, we risk getting stuck in it. We may find ourselves repeating the same patterns over and over again, even if they no longer serve us. We may also limit our own potential, because we're so focused on the struggle that we don't allow ourselves to fully enjoy the fruits of our labor.

This person got stuck in the struggle. We hear many people talking about the struggle of getting out of a situation or relationship.

In some pop culture references we hear people talking about the struggle being "real" or struggling to get out of the "hood" but what happens when you actually make it out?

Would you know what to do with yourself if you actually achieve that which you say you want most?

If the very thing we learned to do in order to survive a bad situation is no longer needed once you find what we are looking for, what do we do with that tool we used for so long?

How do we get ourselves out of "struggle" mode? Out of fighting (or surviving) mode?

Sometimes the very thing that helped us through difficult times is the thing that we must let go of when we "arrive" at our destination.

You may simply need to...put down your arms.


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