Not What You Wanted but Maybe What You Needed?
There is no shame in shying away from a potentially painful experience. It's a completely natural and understandable thing to do. It's a defense mechanism which has kept us alive as a species throughout time.
We inherently have an ability to foresee possible danger and move out of the way before it becomes actual danger.
This is a good thing, no?
We are a bit removed from figuring out whether there is a Saber-toothed tiger hiding in that bush over there. Yet we continue to foresee possible dangers in many areas of our life.
What if that which you fear may be dangerous is actually what is keeping you stuck?
I figured this out in my own life when I was hit with all of the things I was shying away from ALL AT THE SAME TIME!! I was hit so hard with all of my fears and insecurities that the only thing I had left to say was, "ok, so what can I learn from this?" No more fighting, no more hiding, no more running.
That which I did not want to face ended up facing me!
Do you know that at least in my case, I figured out that it was EXACTLY what I needed in order to move forward in my life?
Having had the experiences I was afraid to have freed me up to make major positive life changes. It was far from easy! It was a time that I either had to thrive from the painful experiences or give up entirely.
Now I don't recommend you go looking to face your deepest fears and see what happens. That would be unsafe and even unhealthy.
In my case, I had no choice. I do recommend that if you find someone to support you in facing some of these things and see if you can't jostle some of those fears loose somehow. If you have the benefit of knowing that you are ignoring or staying away from a difficult topic in your life and you think that topic may be affecting your progress in becoming happy or fulfilled, take a step in the direction of the topic and not away from it. Take some time to look at what you have been running away from and see if making the decision to safely face it can benefit you in some way. You may be surprised at what you find.