Passing Success On To The Next Generation
Originally written on Aug 16, 2010.
This was a post I wrote beck when one of my nieces was about in 3rd grade. I decided to talk a little bit about the possibilities of helping our children succeed in school. A topic that may be even more needed these days than back then. Hope you enjoy my little journey into the past.
We all play many roles in our lives, mother, fathers, students, teachers, etc. etc. We sometimes have so many roles that sometimes they tend to get away from us. This is what was seems to have been happening back then when I found out that my niece was having pretty major difficulties in
For me one of these important roles is of an uncle. If you read my post, "A dedication to my sisters", you know that I have two sisters, and that they have blessed me with three nieces and one nephew.
I have the opportunity to watch one of my nieces grow on a daily basis because she lives with me. For a person that is not a parent, I find it very interesting to see how she reacts to different situations over time and how she changes behaviors and opinions as she grows up right in front of my eyes,
One specific area I was able to step in and assist was in the area of education.
Since she lives with me, I was able to keep an eye out for how she was doing in school, how she felt about school and how she reacted to homework and other school projects.
At some point in third grade I kept hearing arguments between her mother and herself about homework. After hearing weeks of homework time turning into yelling matches, I got a little curious.
After a while I saw one of her report cards and it was not where I felt it should be.
I was not thinking this because she is “my” niece. I just knew that she could do better, and had done better, in school. Either that or we (the adults) could be doing something more to facilitate her doing better in school.
These yelling matches continued for a while so I eventually decided to jump in and get involved. I felt that as a spectator, I had some opinions and ideas of what could be done in order to help her improve her grades and general attitude towards school, which unfortunately was waning quickly.
What I came to find out was that she did not like her teacher, she thought school was too difficult, she was having issues with other students and her grades were suffering.
I felt I had to step in!
At that time I had some extra time on my hands and I was doing some intense studying on the subject matter of time management and organization.
I was in a phase of my life where I wanted to improve many things so I think some of that energy flowed over into my niece's school issues.
Based on what I was seeing and hearing, I set up a specific plan to get her to improve many aspects of her school game. I became her personal (school) coach so to speak.
To make a long story short, I…err, we got to a point that she:
Enjoyed school
Improved her behavior in school
Earned honor roll!
Gained a great amount of organization
Stopped feeling frustrated about subjects she did not understand
All-in all became a much better student and an example to others in her class
All this in a few short weeks. Could you believe it? It’s true!
I won't go into the specific techniques that I used at the time because it would make this post way too long.
In addition to her succeeding in school and using techniques she learned at that time until this day, I learned a few things myself.
1. I learned that simply showing up and putting some effort and interest into someone's success can go a really long way.
2. I learned that the deeply held patterns that are ineffective need to be broken up somehow in order to make space for change.
3. I learned that children sometimes need direction and instruction more than they need orders. (many of them don't know how to explain what is happening).
4. I learned putting the person before the performance can work wonders.
I learned many other things through this one situation. Things that have stuck with me ever since. It's amazing the impact that something as simple in taking interest in someone's wellbeing can have in the life of everyone involved. I felt the rewards and continue to live out these principles in my day to day.
If you are interested in learning more about the techniques I used and how I got my niece to go from flailing student to honor student in just a few weeks, post a question in the member forum and I would be glad to answer them. I may even bring in my niece so she could tell you from her perspective how this process helped her out.
LOVE-INSPIRE-HEAL